Vision

I wanna cut it out. I wanna cut out the pain, the hurt, everything that makes me think these thoughts. I have a brain that I feel thinks on a different level to everything that I have ever been taught. I don’t know where these thoughts come from. They just come to me. The words just fill me. Sometimes they eat me up inside that they just have to come out. Sometimes they make no sense. I just write and this is what comes out. Sometimes when I write I have no control. My fingers do the talking. I feel disconnected like something inside just over whelms me and just screams at me to come out.
that’s what its like, I have no control. But surely somewhere deep down there is control that makes me write these words. I really just don’t know any more. I feel very lost in a world that has changed so much for the worst not better.
How do I know what I’m doing is even the right path for me? How do I know? The want, the desire, that’s within me, I think just takes over.
For so long now all I have is the words that I write. But I know deep down that I just don’t cut it, I don’t have what it takes. I’m no good. The one thing that saves me and I know that all they will ever be are words. Words that will never be remembered, words that will be forgotten. I try, but I just don’t have enough vision to be good enough for this world. Hey, Maybe in the next life I might just make it.