Lesson Learned

Today i have just learned the meaning behind 'you can only count on yourself in this world'
I get it now. All you have in this world, in this life is you. You will always be there, you won't forget about you, you wont leave you.
i have found that people who tell you that they will be there for you, that they care about you, that they will always look out for you, if you ever need to talk their there for you, well those people might just be lying to you. In my case, they were. it just doesn't matter how long i have know these people they have never been there for me. my eyes have been opened today and i will never make that mistake with them again. i feel very let down by things that have happened but also liberated that i have finally woke up to what has been going on for so long.
one person in particular, that i spent a big part of my life with, someone who i gave my heart to, put my life on hold for and then he decided that i wasn't what he wanted for his future. 9yrs wasted.
But then i have to ask myself, is all this my own doing? have i some how created this? Maybe. Maybe it is me that is the common factor. maybe its me and who i am, is why people, friends, have abandoned me. i always tried. i always made the effort and keep in touch with people, and then thought why should it just be me making the effort all the time. maybe that's the problem, i stopped making the effort and those people that said they were friends just didn't even care that i had. its sad that for so many years i tried and wasted energy and time on people that didn't give a shit. even worse is the time and effort i wasted on a man who turned out to never even love me. i was just an easy ride, someone who would look after him.
these are the reasons i feel liberated today. i feel liberated from a life that for so long has pulled me under. they have taken what they wanted from me and now that i am no longer of use they think they can pick me up when is convenient for them. sorry I'm done now.
Today is a new life. i am me again.